Certainty in Uncertainty

"Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother's womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things."—Ecclesiastes 11:5

            I've been thinking a lot about the time of life that I'm in right now.  I know most college age students think about the future quite a bit because "real life" is fast approaching.  I've recently talked with some friends about how ever since we graduated high school, we've been transitioning into the next thing.  Especially when I started college; I felt like I never even had time to think about it and then time disappeared and now here I am, starting my second semester of sophomore year.  We even talked about Winter break and how the entire time is basically a transition period.  The first week we transition to being home, the second week is crazy with holiday festivities, and the third week we are getting ready to go back to school.  Conclusion of all of these random thoughts: My life is uncertain.  I have no idea what the future holds.  And that could be really scary, but being a "look on the bright side" kind of person, I find uncertainty to be one of the greatest things that life has to offer us.  Because the more uncertain my life gets, the more certain I must become of God.  Isn't it so comforting to know that in the midst of the confusion and unknown that we have a Lord who does know and who will reveal his plans to us on his timing?  And I am SO thankful that it is his timing and not mine, because if I was in control and if I got to choose the timing of things in my life, I would undoubtedly screw it up...badly.  Whenever I hear people say, "I wish I could just fast forward to see like five minutes of my life in the future," I instantly think that is a terrible idea.  Not in a harsh or mean way, but where is the adventure in that? This past Sunday at church, the pastor spoke about the Christmas song, "Come All Ye Faithful" and about adoring Christ.  Adoration means to tell someone something, and the dictionary defines it as "fervent and devoted love."  He told us to tell Jesus what we adore about him, and one of my favorite things about Christ is the mystery of him and the adventure he brings.

           Going to college with a bunch of people I have never met before in a different state with a totally different culture than I have grown up in, there are many, many times when I feel misunderstood.  I know everyone goes through it, and initially it sucked to feel like no one truly knew me.  But again, during those times of uncertainty, my certainty is found in the Lord.  The more I feel misunderstood by others, the more I feel understood by God.  It assures me that I was designed to be in a relationship with him and that he is the only one who will never fail me.  And the more I know God understands me, the more I know that he loves me, because he knows the depths of my heart and STILL delights in me.

           The thing that got me thinking about this whole "certainty in uncertainty" thing was from Oslwald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest" back in April.  (I know "Utmost" is a cliché pop culture Christian devotion, but you can't deny that it is good.)  He wrote, Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life—gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises."  As a follower of Jesus, I no longer live the commonsense life.  I remember someone saying at Summer Staff (Where you work at a YL camp for a month) this past July that we no longer fight worldly battles; we fight spiritual battles.  In another devotion, "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts, he says, "For we labor not in the material realm, and we work not with the elements of this world; but our labor is in the realm of the Spirit, and the accomplishments are not judged by the human eye, but shall be revealed in the light of eternity."  I want to live like I am a citizen of heaven and not of this world, with an eternal perspective and in the Spiritual realm. I can't even begin to imagine the revelations we will see in the light of eternity, but what a gift that we get to see them at all.  Christ is our hope, light, and peace in times of hopelessness, darkness, and restlessness, and that is what I cling to.

"So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the thing we cannot see will last forever." —2 Corinthians 4:18

Winter Break FUNZONE!!

El Día de Gracias

Happy Thanksgiving!

Five things I am thankful for: (starting where we left off...)

1) Harry Potter.

It sounds trivial, but seriously though, there is nothing like getting lost in a good book-especially Harry Potter.  Entering into the fantasy world of wizards always seems to be my escape away from the chaos of this world. I could (and have) literally sit in my room for three days straight with no communication with the outside world and be totally fine if I had a HP book in front of me. J.K. Rowling writes in a way that makes you feel like you yourself are a student at Hogwarts.  I swear I would leave behind everything in my life now if I could actually transfer to Hogwarts. (I was gonna say just kidding after that, but honestly I'm not sure that I am.) Anyway, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1-amazing. Obviously not as good as the book, and they missed some great details that I was really looking forward to seeing, but I thought they did an incredible job at portraying the main scenes.

2) Family.

I am thankful that I have been raised with the freedom to make my own decisions in life.  I can't remember a time where I was forced to do something or told I wasn't allowed to do something.  I know for a fact that I wouldn't be the person I am today if I didn't have the chance to choose for myself what I wanted to do, and I have learned so much from each decision I have personally made.  Also, I am grateful for the humor of my family.  Each of them has such a unique sense of humor from most people I know, and I am just glad we can laugh at the most ridiculous things ever. (Although I seriously believe Joe may be borderline mentally insane with some of the things he does.) I am glad that I am able to take a joke and laugh at myself because of them.

3) Friends.

Each and every one of them. I am so incredibly thankful that I have people who genuinely care about me and love me. I am thankful that I have friends who listen to me and rejoice with me and who I can listen to and rejoice with as well.  And I am SO thankful that I have relationships where we share in each other's sufferings, because that is what is rare.  I don't think I would be able to think clearly if I didn't have people in my life to process things with.  It is so encouraging and comforting to be able to simply observe the lives of my friends and know that I am learning from their example.

"Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Whenever I pray, I make requests for all of you with joy, for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."

-Philippians 1:3-6

4) My Teammates.

Yes, my teammates (Young Life team that is) are of course my friends too, but when you do ministry alongside of people, your relationships deepen tremendously.  They are the ones that know why your heart is so broken for that one kid.  They celebrate with you over the smallest victories that others can't understand.  And most importantly, they are the ones that have the same exact purpose and mission as you do, to go after lost kids no matter how hard it gets.  I am so fortunate to be on a team where grace and love flow abundantly and unconditionally.  My teammates know my heart better than anyone else does, and not only because we spend crazy amounts of time together, but because we take up our crosses together and encourage each other along the way.  It is so amazing to truly know someone's heart and to see how much each of them has to offer to God.  I am blessed to know someone with the most passion I've ever seen, someone so dedicated and giving, someone who lives expectantly and dreams big, and someone whose strength comes completely from the joy of the Lord.

Philippians 1:7-8 says, "So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News. God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus."

This perfectly reflects my heart for my team.

5) The Cross.

I am thankful (that is an understatement) that God our Father sent his son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for me and the rest of this world so that he could literally become our sin and so that we could live freely and innocently.  I am thankful that Jesus was obedient to his Father's will so that I could be forgiven of EVERYTHING and live in perfect relationship with my Lord.  I am thankful that we have the Bible to tell us all of this, and that we have the example of Jesus to follow.

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature, God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient to death, even death on a cross!"

-Philippians 2:5-8 (I am aware that everything in my blog posts is from Philippians-this is not intentional.)

I think this relates back to what I mentioned before about Simple Spirituality and the five simple stones of WMF. Those things are based on the example of Jesus and what lead him to carry the cross for us. At church a couple of weeks ago, the pastor said, "Be careful of a Christianity without a cross." Because that is what it all comes down to. And if I give thanks for anything at all, it is the cross. Because through it, I am cleansed and perfectly loved.

Simple Spirituality (conflicting with my newfound ownership of a Droid)

I have many different thoughts running through my head right now, so I'm just gonna write. I don't even know if I'll post this, but we shall see! I like the idea of writing stuff down that others could potentially read, and seeing what things/thoughts I find to be important in my life currently and also seeing what things I am keeping to myself or between God and I. I feel like a lot has been happening, but then again, not so much is actually happening (and that may only make sense to me...)

Well for one, I am home! Currently residing in Secane, Pennsylvania.  It has been an eventful past two days. And by eventful, I mean I just bought a lot of stuff and spent money on things I don't get a chance to do at school.  On Thursday night, actually at 3 AM on Friday morning after HP7, (we'll get there later) a friend asked me what the first thing I was gonna do when I got home was.  I said I was gonna hang out with my dog, but little did I know the first thing she was gonna do when I got home was bite me! Not a very pleasant greeting from Tippy, but she has always liked me the least. Anyway, back to the eventfulness of being home: I went shopping with my mom at Target yesterday, and today I got a Droid! Buy one get one free deal. Who knew that my mom dropping her phone in coffee would benefit me? :) Today I also had the chance to hang with my dear friend and one of my favorite people, Joy.  We got our nails done, which is probably the last thing you would expect the two of us to do together?  It was weird...However, it was great to catch up and just hear how exciting her past couple of months have been.  The Lord has been so faithful to her after some long, hard times, and I was so encouraged to see verse Philippians 1:6 come to life before me. "...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion to the day of Christ Jesus." That is something I will never stop praying: for friends from home, friends from JMU, friends at TA, family, myself... It's a promise, and I don't think I'd be able to do the things I do if it weren't true.  That sounds vague, but actually, I don't think I'd be able to get through each day without trusting fully in that promise.  Since this rambling seems to have brought us to this point, I guess I will share some things I am learning.

I have recently picked up the book "Simple Spirituality." Before I went to Peru with my bFf Rebecca, her sister Nina, and our YL leader, we read this. Underneath the title it says, "Learning to see God in a broken world" and it is "A book for people who are ready to see."  We traveled to Lima, Peru to see what the life of a WMF (Word Made Flesh) missionary is like.  At that point in our lives, the three of us girls (though fairly new to it all) were SO curious and so ready to see God in a broken world.  It was life-changing, and looking back and re-reading this book, I just think the WMF ministry is so right.  They have nine core values, and five simple stones that are central to WMF. They are:

Humility to slay the giant of pride and arrogance

Community to slay the giant of individualism and independence

Simplicity to slay the giant of intemperance and excess

Submission to slay the giant of power and control

Brokenness to slay the giant of triumphalism, defiance, and resistance

The other day I went through my bible and journal to look for Scripture that supports each of these simple stones.  It was really cool to see how quickly I was able to call to mind verses that have been revealed to me since being at college and to realize that those are the foundations I want to/try to live my life by.  I don't really know if I'm being clear, but it was just cool to see what Scripture I associate each of these five words with and to see what God has been teaching me with them.  I am no where near understanding or representing these things, but I am learning.

This turned into a much longer post than I had anticipated.  I know I said I would get to talking about HP7 later, but I think I'll save it for a Thanksgiving post when I share what I am thankful for.  Last week at d-hall lunch, Anthony suggested the idea that we go around the table and all say what we're thankful for. I said Harry Potter.  Most friends did not respond positively, but it's the truth!  And somehow, I have a feeling that the mention of Harry Potter in some form will make it into the majority of my posts.

Disclaimer: The title of this post is not supposed to be a joke. It's just to point out that my life is a learning process, and I've got a long way to go!

Just bringin' back some Peru memz! :) Isa and Natalia are THE BEST.

(Reb and Nina: you're okay too...)